At school most of us received little to no instruction on sexuality; perhaps a labelled diagram of reproductive organs in Biology class or being guided by an awkward teacher to put a condom on a banana.

Most of the little education we receive about sexuality is from pornography. Parents are reluctant to discuss matters of sexuality or relationships with children, often due to their own shame or confusion with regards to sexuality. When children play erotically they are shamed and judged, leaving them with emotional baggage much heavier than what would have been produced just by the act itself. When our parents scorn us or tell us sexuality is wrong, we end up developing shame and inhibitions. This distorts a natural, open view upon sexuality and creates blockages.

People are carrying around, like an iron jacket, layers of generational shame. Yet they aren’t aware that this is what’s causing their self-damaging feelings and behaviours.

Pornography Culture

In the modern Pornography industry, extremes are cultivated in order to shock and for consumers, often in a state of numbness, to ‘feel more.’

We are bombarded with sexual messages through the media that tell us everything is permissible.  It promotes a fantasy-based world of objectification and unnatural or extreme behaviours. This cultivates an inner attitude of disconnection which has a negative impact on self-esteem and relational behaviours like presence in love-making, doing things we don’t want to in order to ‘please’ the other or mutual manipulation.

Tantra offers a re-orientation of the sexual impulse, a ‘re-start,’ this time from the space of the heart. Instead of objectifying the other; wanting their body to look a certain way or expecting them to perform a certain act to ‘give’ us pleasure, we transfigure them into their highest reality and love them as this.

When we approach our view of ourselves and others from this place of openness, acceptance, non-judgement and love, separation reduces and our desire for profound erotic interaction increases.

Only love heals

Love is the greatest healer; Tantra encourages a deep love of the true self and presents a view of the other as divine, so the amorous act becomes a form of practical worship. Rituals replace the need for extreme or addictive behaviours as the tantric lovemaking experience fulfils us on multiple levels.

Nothing is taboo; open communication and exploration are combined with an ascending orientation that leads the individual or couple to gradually become multi-orgasmic. They find their erotic experiences ever-more rewarding and energising. This results in more lasting and regular states of joy, happiness, love, fulfilment and a great expansion of the being.

The separation epidemic

In many modern countries half of all marriages end in divorce. Mainstream relationships are constantly ending due to problems that Tantra explicitly sets out to fix.

Tantra can be of huge benefit in our couple relationships; giving detailed advice on how to improve relationships that have lost their spark, increase erotic attraction and have a more fulfilling erotic life. It is a Spiritual Science that provides specific tools for having better relationships.

Tantrism is a group of practical techniques (not only erotic ones) that can be applied in daily life. The consciousness expands in order to perceive all aspects of life as vehicles for spiritual transformation.

Tantra is the only discipline creating a synthesis between the seemingly opposing dimensions of sensory pleasure and Liberation. Nothing is in denied or avoided; instead it is all seen as an energy to be used or transcended.

As Guhyasamaja Tantra mentions:

“No one can achieve Liberation only through difficult and tormenting practices; Liberation may be also achieved through conscious satisfaction of all desires.”